Author: Jimmy Locklear

One seeking to live from his heart as a follower of Jesus. Son, husband, father, friend. Writer, marketing and fundraising strategist. Veteran of corporate, agency, and high impact organizations.

Epic Thanksgiving

A Family Gathering

When the extended family gathers for holidays or weddings or other special events, there is great expectation and not a little anxiety about how we’ll all get along. For a couple of years, we have had the privilege of hosting family for the Thanksgiving Day Meal. Last year, we were comforted by each other’s presence as my wife and brother-in-law had lost their father and mother in the period of five months. We circled, held hands and gave thanks prior to the meal and felt God’s gentle presence. Most shed a tear or two as we thanked God for the love of parents, in-laws, grandparents and friends.

Prior to this year’s gathering, I sent an email suggesting a pot-luck-ish menu and provided a preview of what I’d like for us to do with our time after the meal. As a way to expand the simple “what am I thankful for this year”, I suggested we share something we are thankful for from each decade of our lives. There were a couple of jokes in the replies about those of us who would be telling stories that would bore the more youthful, but I didn’t know what to expect.

There were 20 of us who ate together on November 22nd ranging in age from 22-80. As we progressed through the meal and moved to dessert, I reminded folks of the multi-decade thanksgiving exercise and that we should probably start. My sister-in-law and brother set the early tone. They had worked on their lists and began to share deep heartfelt stories of growing up, friendships, love, children, challenges and victories. They confessed before all of us their love for each other and for us. Next, my Mother chimed in with some of the stories of her life. Wow, this is on! Folks were sharing their life stories with laughter and tears and “you may not have heard this before…” and so on.

After only a few had shared, it was obvious that this was a special and powerful time. Not to be forgotten. The friendship, love and support or our family was affirmed repeatedly.

There was in just about every story times of challenge and difficulty that in retrospect were times that we were now thankful for and could see God’s hand in. From the oldest to the youngest, everyone had a powerful story to share. My youngest son, 22, shared about his life now in another city and the happiness of being able to ride the public transit bus to his job he enjoyed each day and to go shopping, to a movie or to a concert with friends. Things that weren’t even dreams five years ago.

In Proverbs 17 we read that a cheerful or merry heart is good medicine. I can testify that our time of giving thanks through the stories of our lives was very good medicine as our hearts were cheered. As you gather with family and friends during the holidays and listen to the story of Jesus’ incarnation, listen too for echoes in the stories of your family. And give thanks; it’ll do your heart good.

“There’s a book for that. Really?” Not always.

Do you ever feel that your day has a theme? When it seems that the Universe is trying to get a message to you? And when you started to connect the dots, it seems like an important message to share? Welcome to today.

This morning I attending another Creative Mornings Atlanta breakfast {http://www.creativemornings.com/} and heard an inspiring presentation on art, craftsmanship and work from Jason & Julie Henry { http://www.henryandco.com/ }. As the Q. & A. would prove, one of the more intriguing themes that Jason brought up was the apprenticeship that he served with his father many years ago and how, over time, his hands became tools of his trade. My friend Ryan Tuttle, with whom I sat at the meeting, later shared how he had apprenticed with his father many years ago in Savannah. And last weekend when talking with my son Justin Locklear, he brought up the now legendary 10,000-Hour Rule explicated by Malcolm Gladwell in his book Outliers as the entry point for being an expert in your field. Justin feels he is about 6,000 hours into that “apprenticeship.”

Finally, as I put my computer down on a table in this coffee shop a woman at the next table said to her friend, “You know, [insert famous evangelical pastor’s name here] has done a series on that.” There it was. Our fast answer to any challenge. There’s a book, a video, a course or even a TV program that will give you the knowledge you need to overcome your present obstacle.

Actually, more knowledge is not usually our problem. We are human beings. We are mind, body, emotions, soul, spirit, heart, muscles, bones and the list goes on. We’re complicated and complex. And the phrase, “Experience is the best teacher;” is, in fact, true.

A good friend of mine is an experience designer for a high-impact 501(c)3 organization involved with church leadership and congregational renewal. {www.wellspringgroup.org} Often times I’m sure she has to explain what that means and inevitably folks say, “Oh, you develop the curriculum.” Because, you see, that’s where we want to go. We want to gain more knowledge in the hope that our life’s issues will be solved if we can just find that key bit, or byte, of knowledge that will unlock my struggles and put me on the road to success. We want to arrive without walking or driving all of those miles.

You see, it is only in the crucible of pain that we learn that we have strength. Even Jesus wanted to forego the pain of crucifixion if there was a way to purchase back the people of the world some other way. John 22:41 Then He withdrew from them about a stone’s throw, knelt down, and began to pray, 42 “Father, if You are willing, take this cup away from Me — nevertheless, not My will, but Yours, be done.”  {HCSB}

I have several books on running. And they definitely helped me run three marathons in 2011. But what helped me more was running four days a week for about three years. The books told me about adding miles, but it was my experience of running those miles that prepared my body and my mind to actually run 26.2 miles.

But, my most profound experience of growth has occurred in my relationship with God over the past five years. I had read books about God, about what we should believe about God and how he works in the world, but I learned who he was and is and how he wanted to relate to me by sitting in silence with empty and open hands and bringing my distracted heart to him. I felt and saw his love in tangible ways. We developed a relationship by actually spending time together. Not reading another book. Although I’ve read more books in the past five years than during any other time in my life, my learning was actualized by consistently spending time in solitude with the heart of an apprentice who wanted to learn how to live, love, work. And somehow that was enough. Experience God’s love. It’s better than a book.

 

 

Mind Game: hiding behind words

Have you ever considered how you’ve come to view prayer and how you actually pray? When I hear Jesus talking about prayer and observe the glimpses that we see in the Gospels of the New Testament, I wonder if what we so often do is the same as the prayer Jesus is talking about. The most common thread to his prayer life is solitude. We don’t do much of that. And he seems to suggest the best approach for us. “Go into your closet and close the door so no one can see,” he told us.

“And, by the way, your Heavenly Father already knows what you need, so, don’t be long-winded and repetitive,” he said.

One of the attacks of evil is making us think that prayer is primarily of the mind – “speaking with God” or “thinking about God” or “talking to God.” We have placed such a high value on mastering the world through the intellect that our view of prayer has evolved into a mind game with God. Some how we have gotten the idea that the theological correctness or the order of our prayers is really, really important. I can almost hear Jesus say, “my dear children, speak from your heart.”

Reading a prayer that someone else has written is perhaps helpful at times to help us put words to our feelings, but at some point we have to go “off script” and improvise from how we are really feeling and what we are desiring. In order for us to freely do that we must know deeply that we are beloved of God.

Perhaps we should all take as our nickname – Jedidiah! The name means “loved by God” or “beloved of God.” We named our third son Jedidiah the day after he was born. We searched for another “J” name and discovered a great story and truth from the life of King David. Here’s the scripture reference from 2 Samuel chapter 12:

24 Then David comforted his wife Bathsheba, and he went to her and made love to her. She gave birth to a son, and they named him Solomon. The Lord loved him; 25 and because the Lord loved him, he sent word through Nathan the prophet to name him Jedidiah.

Unless we hear the voice of God calling to us in love, we will try to hide behind the “right words” and the correct theology when we sit in his presence or come to him in prayer. You may come to him thinking you are Jack or Sylvia, but remember that God has given you a nickname – Beloved! And he wants to hear the simple or the sophisticated words from you. Not the formulaic or repetitious, but the dialogue of your heart. He is there. He is near.

 

There’s A Story In You

Over the past five years, I’ve come to understand that the arc of life or rather the arc of eternity is a grand story. In The Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien, a story unfolds of a young man who was chosen to play a significant part in a very large story. The story is captivating and millions have read and viewed that story many times over. We resonate with that story and feel some kinship to Frodo Baggins and Samwise Gamgee and their amazing journey. We hurt with them and cheer for them as they overcome obstacles and fight for their lives and the lives of those in their homeland and beyond.

Do you ever feel like there’s a story that’s bigger than your personal journey, but you’re not sure who’s writing it or what part you are playing? If you answered in the affirmative, then, welcome to the human race! You are a man or woman created for beauty, strength, love and adventure.

Your question is not new. In the Ancient Near East, the great King Solomon asked the same question. He asked many questions, but perhaps his most profound or powerful question and observation was recorded in the book called Ecclesisates. You’ve probably heard parts of this book read or even sung. The early 60s rock band The Byrds recorded the song Turn! Turn! Turn! in 1965 that drew heavily on Solomon’s writing about the seasons of life. They sang from the third chapter of Ecclesiastes about “a time to plant and a time to uproot, … a time to weep and a time to laugh,” and their lyrics rang true. Many of us have experienced those times.

A further reading of that same chapter finds these words:

God has made everything appropriate in its time. He has also put eternity in their hearts, but man cannot discover the work God has done from beginning to end. (Eccl. 3:11)

It is a fascinating read. The insight that Solomon brings as he describes God’s relationship to his creation and, especially, people is profound in every phrase. So, there is a grand story in our hearts. Put there by our Creator God. What difference does that make? So what?

Solomon says that this sense of a Larger Story was put in our hearts by God. And that we don’t know the end of the story from the beginning. If you read further in the same paragraph, Solomon suggests that there are recurring themes or vignettes that makes it more confusing.

We end up looking for validation on our part of the story. We look for a script or a piece of the script that might show us where to stand or what to say. Solomon says that with that “eternity” comes a burden to search for our part to play. Otherwise, it’s all meaningless. And without meaning and understanding our essence and living in that essence, we begin to die.

Alas, there is hope. Our creator and author still lives and wants to have a relationship with all of humanity. You and me, too. So, we take our question to God. We ask him what our part in his story is and, then, … we listen.

And it is a captivating story. This is going to be good. I’m in this Act! And you are, too.

 

Why aren’t churches more like people? And how that would make a difference in hard times.

One of my favorite books is TURN MY MOURNING INTO DANCING by Henri Nouwen. I’ve read it more than once and given away at least 15 copies in the past four years. Some say that it gives them a “framework” for dealing with suffering and others say that it has helped them learn to mourn their past and their sins and to receive healing. To me, it is all those things and more.

In this short 110-page collection of Nouwen’s writings and sermons on suffering and finding hope in hard times, we learn to remember and forget and to move forward from the depths of pain and challenge. This is all a great handbook for the valleys of a life lived from a whole heart, but how could some of the principles be applied to a whole community of people. Skeptical? So am I.

The church that I’ve been a part of for some 28 years is going through a very hard time. With that as background I came across these words recently in this book: Memory also reminds us of the faithfulness of God in the hard places and joyous moments. It lets us see how God has brought good from even the impossible situations. Remembering in this way allows us to live in the present. It does not mean to live in another time but to live in the present with our whole history, with an awareness of the possibilities we might not otherwise think to look for.

And this is no problem for an individual because all of my memories are contained in my heart and mind. But this is a major challenge for a church because our memory is a collection of all of the remembrances from all of the people who ever been a part of this community of faith. Those who are a part of this body in the here and now represent only a fraction of that memory of the faithfulness of God over the years. And changing pastors on multiple occasions is like transplanting the cerebral cortex with a new set of disconnected memories or starting over. The body has joys and sorrows, beauty and sadness, but only selected remembrances tie them together.

So, what do we draw upon when times are tough? Our corporate memory fails us. For an individual, here’s the advice Nouwen offer. Would this also work for a community of individuals?

1. Count your losses. As a prelude to our dance, we need to ask ourselves to remember what we have actually lost. For most churches, we have lost people over the years. Sometimes our loss is because of life changes, or illness or death, but too often it is “painfully, through misunderstanding, conflict or anger.”

2. Live in Hope. If we had a memory, we would experience the possibility of God’s rescue through a variety of means. Hope is not dependent on peace in the land, justice in the world or success in the business. Hope makes you see God’s guiding hand not only in the gentle and pleasant moments but also in the shadows of disappointment and darkness.

3. Open your community to receive compassion. To receive compassion, we have to allow others into our despair and pain. One of the hardest times for me was a few years ago when I suffered great loss and pain and was forced to let others know; including letting God know. I had to come to Him with empty and open hands and then to share weakness with people I knew and people I didn’t. Pride does not die easily and sharing our weakness and failure with family, friends and acquaintances can be excruciating. But, when shared, suffering is a catalyst for community and compassion. The key component to the word “compassion” is “with”. It is “suffering with” and “sharing with” and “sitting with” and “praying with.”

4. Overcome your activity to stop and pray. When things are great or tough, or life is sweet or it stinks, our vitality and movement into wholeness and allowing the voice of God to invade our prayers is dependent on a discipline of quiet or solitude. Our mind may tell us to get busy, but new beginnings or pressing the re-set button are only possible with the energy produced from prayer. Light a new fire through prayer.

5. Read life backwards. Nouwen instructs us that without memory there is not expectation. “For by not remembering we allow forgotten memories to become independent forces that have a crippling effect on our functioning and relating and praying… Like the people of Israel who repeatedly reflected on their history and discovered God’s guiding hand in the many painful events that led them to Jerusalem, so we pause to discern God’s presence in the events that have made us or unmade us.”

There’s more in the book and there’s more in the Bible, but here’s one of my favorite lines as we finish our time of sharing. This is the money quote for today and always, for individuals and churches.

For even while we mourn, we do not forget how our life can ultimately join God’s larger dance of life and hope.

So, if churches were more like people, perhaps we would experience more hope when our churches go through hard times.

Anima Christi

Although this has been around for 600 years or so, I have just recently discovered the beauty and power of this prayer.

Soul of Chirst, sanctify me

Body of Christ, save me

Blood of Christ, inebriate me

Water from Christ’s side, wash me

Passion of Christ, strengthen me

O good Jesus, hear me

Within thy wounds hide me

Suffer me not to be separated from Thee

From the malicious enemy defend me

In the hour of my death call me

And bid me come unto Thee

That I may praise Thee with Thy saints

and with Thy angels

Forever and ever

Amen

The power of literature: written and spoken words impact us with truth

I’ve been profoundly influenced by the convergence of what I’ve been reading and experiencing lately. I have to say that my heart is full of compassion and love for the Body of Christ. The combination of recently reading Susan Isaacs’ Angry Conversations with God, Kathryn Stockett’s The Help and Henri Nouwen’s The Road to Daybreak and Making All Things New have catalyzed in me an appreciation for the diversity of those who follow Jesus and the great difficulty that God experiences in answering our prayers. God is regularly required to ignore pain, suffering, injustice and disappointment in the lives of his adopted children for His Higher Agenda. It has given me pause and affected my prayer life in some deep ways. Having the presence of the Holy Spirit is enough. The security, love and satisfaction that comes to me by his presence is remarkable and surprising.

Rationally: I was quite surprised at how deeply these stories have shaken me. The resonance I have felt as I’ve related to different characters in these stories has helped me understand and appreciate their pain.

Emotionally: On more than one occasion I have been moved to tears as I’ve observed the pain and degradation experienced by God’s creatures (both real and imagined). The moralistic requirements and expectations being shoveled on to a broken Susan Isaacs by Christians; the hatred spewed out on black people in Mississippi in the name of God and those who have grown cold toward God in Nouwen’s Dutch homeland. And, yet, Jesus shed his precious blood for them ALL.

Deep Desire: That my appreciation for the price and power of the crucifixion of Jesus would never leave me.

Volitional: That I would act and grow in patience and kindness toward God’s children.

Overlooking the obvious – Instructions for men

It happens all the time. We become so familiar with a passage in the Bible or the storyline in a movie or lines in our favorite poem that we miss other parts of the story. For instance, I say, “First Corinthians 13,” you say, “the Love Chapter; read it at weddings; put it on a plaque.” But, did you know that the “Love Chapter” has important teaching on sanctification and growing in our walk with God and what happens when we see Jesus?

Psalm 23? The funeral psalm that we read as caskets go into the ground. Actually, it’s much more about life and about the abiding presence of God in good times and hard times than about death or the afterlife.

So, that brings us to First Timothy 2. This part of Paul’s letter is most often quoted regarding the office of mediator that Jesus holds due to his redeeming work on the cross or the teaching on the wardrobe and demeanor of women and their place in God’s hierarchy. But there is one pivotal verse that is often overlooked. It’s verse 8 and here’s what it says, “Therefore, I want the men in every place to pray, lifting up holy hands without anger or argument.” Wow. We could unpack this for weeks. And, yet, we often miss this critical teaching.

So, immediately, this is how I respond to this pivotal sentence.

  1. Pray – Come to God and share how you feel about what is going on in your life. Ask for his help. Cry out to God with your anxieties, pains, fears, joys, hopes and desires. Pray for those in your community and your community of faith. Ask God to open the hearts of those around you to hear the Good News that Jesus is the mediator between God and man.
  2. Lift up holy hands – what an amazing picture of our reaching out for God’s help. Coming to him with empty hands is very difficult for most of us. Sometimes God has to take away those things and people that we rely upon so that we can have holy hands to raise. They are holy because we raise them with singularity of purpose. We are lifting up our hands to God and God alone. We are saying that Jesus is our only hope for connecting to our Creator and Heavenly Father.
  3. Without anger or argument – I’m pretty much assuming that Paul’s talking about not being angry with those who around us and not while we are in the midst of an argument. It seems to be way too common that the people of God manifest anger and resentment within the church. Whether it is the attack of evil or our hiding behind our false selves, Paul says that we must shed those feelings and positions to raise our hands in prayer. Certainly, this would follow that if we are to come to God lifting our holy hands that we cannot come grasping to our hatred, disrespect or unwillingness to forgive, forget and move forward.

Won’t you join me in every place to pray, lifting up holy hands without anger or argument?

 

Understanding the ministry of Jesus

Over the past several weeks, I have been spending regular time following Jesus as he is portrayed and revealed in the Gospel of St. Matthew. I’m continually brought back to the core of his ministry. Jesus lived on earth by every word that came from the mouth of his Father.

Our friend and elder brother Henri Nouwen observed in his book Making All Things New (New York: Harper & Row, 1981), “We will never understand the full meaning of Jesus’ richly varied ministry unless we see how the many things are rooted in the one thing: listening to the Father in the intimacy of perfect love.”

Again and again, in Matthew, I get the sense that as Jesus begins or ends his days with a time of solitude with his Father that it is his life blood. Like manna in the wilderness, Jesus is fed by his Father with the food of love and wisdom.