It’s All In The Timing

Ever heard that? While being alternately a cliché and the name of a series of one act plays, timing has a profound and strategic impact on us and the world around us. In the Easter story, the ancient writings say, “At just the right time….” And when we get a call or a check in the mail or run into an old friend, we might remark that it was perfect timing.

But what about a rebuke or some discipline or reprimand? Does timing make a difference?

I think it does and I’ve had opportunity to reflect upon it in the past two days. You see, I’ve been deflecting my role in the difficulties my local church has been experiencing for the past few years. Of course, while holding the office of elder and being on various leadership and vision teams I knew that I was involved in making things better or worse. I also knew that there was plenty of responsibility shared by a large number of folks for the decisions being made or not made and the setting of an atmosphere or culture that was conducive to growth or stagnation. Personally, I was experiencing renewal in my relationship with God and was seeking to be a voice for a spiritual life of dependence, prayer and solitude.

As our crisis became more intense, I observed an attitude of humility and sorrowfulness. But I had difficulty entering into those places. I believed that much of our difficulty was because we were too busy and living from our false selves pretending to be people that we weren’t. I certainly was quick to critique others’ critiques. Most of us are pretty good at finding things to be critical of. After all, we are highly educated and Western educational institutions are built upon the idea of proving your intellectual acumen through criticism. Certainly, the highest levels of literature (my specialty) include the art of critiquing the writings of others.

So, we carry that into other parts of our lives. I show my worth, value through criticizing you. What a miserable prospect.

This past Sunday when our pastor was preaching from 1st Corinthians 3:1-10 on “The Price of Immaturity,” he said, “This has been an unstable church acting immaturely.”

It was a fist to the gut for me. I felt stung and ashamed. And for the first time, I received this critique fully. I was knocked off of my pedestal. I asked God for guidance as I was seeking to repent and agree.

Thus, the timing was right and I am in a new place concerning my role as an elder and teacher. I’m not sure what difference this will make, but I am hopeful.

What have I learned? That God’s discipline is gracious and his desire is for growth and not harm. He is the best of parents to us.

Chapter 6 – Relational Re-Entry: Who knows and who doesn’t?

{Having recently published Sacred Heart Attack | Sacrèe Crise Cardiaque,I’ve begun writing a sequel telling of the my recovery and the aftermath of my ten dramatic days in Montreal. I’m sharing Chapter 6 of the yet to titled book that I expect to publish in early 2014. It will be more reflective and deal with some of the deeper issues surrounding a near death experience.}

(January 17, 2013) There were a couple of things that I knew would occur over the next few weeks. One, I’d be greeting good friends about every other day as they delivered meals to us. Some would want to visit and see how I was doing and ask a few questions. Others would want to make a quick stop and drop off food, but wouldn’t have time to visit. As one who’s said to have the “gift of gab” and finds it difficult to give short answers without appropriate context, I could expect to be frustrated by the brief encounters. And the longer visits would be deeply satisfying while helping me to release some of the emotional baggage I was carrying. Good baggage, but luggage that needed to be unpacked and put in its proper place. Tears would show my fear, pain, anxiety and joy. Amazing what shedding a few tears can accomplish.

Secondly, I knew that saying “I had a heart attack a couple of weeks ago…, a couple of months ago,” would be a significant part of my conversation with most everyone for a while. And with friends who were aware of my surprise heart “event” I would be explaining symptoms and warning signs that I had or had not experienced before and during the attack. There would be lots of very natural questions.

Again, I felt a combination of anxiety and welcome as I anticipated future encounters. I would learn later that one thing I had not anticipated was a conversation where a fellow traveler would share about someone close to them who didn’t make it to the hospital in time or the medical teams weren’t able to save them and the blocked artery killed them.

These encounters would hit me hard with a combination punch of sadness and wonder– sadness for my friend’s loss and wonder at God’s tender mercy for saving my life. I would ask myself what my life now meant. Was I called to make dramatic changes? Had God saved me for some enduring quest? Was he planning to re-direct my path into a new world? Or did it mean, simply and profoundly, that my time on earth was not done. I knew I had more rough edges that God could shave off before I was ready for heaven, but I knew, too, that that hasn’t stopped him from taking people in the past.

What does it mean that I am still alive?

It is a question that would be my constant companion for months to come.

Kickstarter Backers Helped Publish “Sacred Heart Attack”

When my new book Sacred Heart Attack | Sacrée Crise Cardiaque rolled off the presses last month much of the cost was underwritten by 47 friends and family who backed the project via Kickstarter. The use of “crowdfunding” has become an important slice of the financing pie to launch all kinds of creative and innovative projects from books to fashion lines to recycling initiatives. And I decided to use Kickstarter.com has an objective third-party to facilitate the helping hand that several friends had wanted to offer. It worked out great! Currently, 42% of Kickstarter projects are successfully 100% funded. If a project doesn’t meet its goal then pledges are cancelled. Our project received 107% funding.

Most backers received a “reward” for their support and that was usually a signed copy or two of the finished book. Some received ebooks and others only wanted to make a donation.

It was a great experience for me to learn about running a campaign and being consistent in a 30-day effort. So, it was a win-win!

I’d also like to thank all of my backers by listing their names here:

Jenny Locklear

Jameson & Bethany Locklear

Craig Perry

Danielle Georgiou & Justin Locklear

Joe & Kristine Hope

David & Mary Harris

Howard Huddleston

Collin Setterberg

William T. Locklear

Frank Gross

Jim Skesavage

Clell Deaver

Bill & Bernie Locklear

Jody Locklear

Bobby Gross

Teresa Ariail Willis

Michael Lee

Debbie & Ben Buchanan

Tom & Gail Buchanan

Patrick Freeman

Lance Lipman

Carolyn Hansen

Jennifer & Ryan Haeseler

Bill & Terri Reid

Gwen JeSchonek

Diane Hunter

Carol Shunnarah

John Arnold

Chuck Vogt

Jeanie Arnold

Tamara McElhannon

Rebecca McKnight

Michael Roche

Judy Miller

Laura Wells

Bill Christian

Elaine Hansen

Alice Scott

Lou Locklear

Jed Locklear

Josh Jackson

Dennis Cox

Courtney Micksch

Joe Kirk

Paulo Barrera

Samantha Rodriquez

Jae Robbins

Derek Owens

You will forever be in my heart.

 

Dramatic Heart Attack Experience is Basis for New Book

Atlanta resident writes first-hand account of suffering a heart attack while in Montreal, QC, Canada earlier this year

Readers get a rare glimpse into the patient experience as Locklear shares the details of his major heart attack and treatment that saved his life in Sacred Heart Hospital in Montreal. He takes you inside the operating room as he narrates what was happening as the medical team worked to save his life.

Atlanta (August 23, 2013)– “Almost like the heart attack itself, the idea and demand for this story has been a total surprise,” said Decatur, GA-resident Jimmy Locklear, 61, about his new book Sacred Heart Attack | Sacrée Crise Cardiaque: A Dramatic Account of an American Heart Attack Victim in Montreal (WestBow Press, 2013). “As a long-time professional writer and marketer, I had worked on book ideas before, but this was one of the easiest manuscripts that I ever attempted to write.”

Approximately 1.4 million Americans experience a heart attack each year, but most of the family and friends of victims have no idea what the experience is like and what goes on in the emergency and operating rooms. Locklear tells his story with attention to detail and a combination of humorous observations and spiritual insights that makes for an amazing journey for readers. Locklear said that he wrote the book partially because of the enthusiastic response he received as he shared vignettes from his experience on his personal website. He also found the experience of writing to be helpful in dealing with the post-traumatic stress and anxiety that he and many other heart attack survivors experience.

“I have been a marathon runner, mostly healthy eater and only 60-years-old when the attack occurred. I was shocked. Shortly after returning home, I began writing a journal of my experience of the heart attack; rushing to the ER, emergency procedures to break up the 100% blocked “widow-maker” artery, and my time in the Sacred Heart Hospital in Montreal. Subsequently, I began posting short chapters on my website and the response was amazing,” said Locklear.

Along with being a writer, Locklear was a public relations and marketing executive in Atlanta for over 25 years. He was in Montreal for a workshop with the international organization known as L’Arche (“the Ark” in French) that focuses on building inclusive communities where adults with disabilities play a core part. He is involved in fundraising with L’Arche Atlanta. He is married and has three sons and one daughter-in-law.

Sacred Heart Attack is available at all of the major online stores including Westbowpress.com, Amazon, and Barnes and Noble.

Contact information: Jimmy Locklear, jimmy@jimmylocklear.com, (404)314-8016, facebook.com/jimmylocklearauthor and via twitter @j5locklear

 

Quickstarter Project Successful

Thank you, friends!!! Your belief and support of this project is amazing. I’m humbled and honored to know you and to be the recipient of your investment to share this story.

You are now a part of my story and I will forever be grateful to God and you. One of the simplest messages of Sacred Heart Attack is we all have stories that need to be told. Our stories of suffering, heroism, friendship and beauty give hope to all of us.

Thank you for letting me share my story.

Love and peace, Jimmy

 

A publishing project using Kickstarter.com

Previously, I’ve posted chapters of my forthcoming book, Sacred Heart Attack. In order to do the kind of marketing and distribution I’d like and to broaden my person platform, I’m doing a funding project with Kickstarter.com. You can review the project here: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/2020552486/sacred-heart-attack-book-publishing-project

And here’s the video I’m using to introduce the book and project.

Ode to a heart attack

January 9, 2013

Suddenly.

My heart is broke, not working.

Under attack, from within;

Relentless pain and confusion reign

As slowly clarity emerges.

 

What happened to me?

Did I do this?

Denial.

My God, my God, why…

But, wait, Spirit is present,

As slowly calm emerges.

 

Life is present.

Wholeness preserved.

Friends are present speaking prayers,

Speaking love

As slowly comfort emerges.

 

Plans have changed.

Life is reborn and saved.

Anxiety, fear, future and hope–

Crazy.

As slowly a new day emerges.

 

©Jimmy Locklear, 2013.

Chapter 12: Saying Thank You

Slide1It was Monday morning and I was feeling tired, but anxious to be discharged. Various nurses had mentioned that I was indeed on the list to be discharged today. The process started in the late morning.

Dr. Charron came by to pick up payment for the two angioplasty procedures he had done on Wednesday and Friday, respectively. We were paying him in cash that Jenny had brought since we couldn’t write a check in Canadian dollars. I was grateful that she and Jameson got to meet Charron, the youthful father of four. It was during his visit that we learned of the difficulty he had reaching the blockage in my left anterior descending artery.

After going in through a small slit in my right wrist, he discovered that there were a couple of arteries that were crossed somewhere between the insertion point on my radial artery and my heart. While this is a common challenge – often catheter manipulation is more difficult because the radial artery is smaller than the femoral artery and while a different and smaller catheter is used, it is a tight fit – navigating the right subclavian artery can be unpredictable. In a bit of a race with time and the ongoing damage being done to my heart due to the back up of blood, he was making a final effort to reach the clot before resorting to cutting open my chest and doing open heart surgery, when he was able to get through to the clot and break it up. He said that doing open-heart surgery in emergency situations like mine don’t turn out well and it was not what he had wanted to do. We also learned that I was one of five heart attack patients that had come through the ER that night for Dr. Charron.

I grew more thankful for the mercy of God, the prayers of his people and the skill and persistence of Dr. Charron and his associates. Being able to thank the doctor one more time felt good to my soul, as well.

We don’t know the ways God and his angels have protected us and saved us over the years. So, being made aware of our closeness to death is an awareness that makes all of the people and creation around us all the more precious.

Why I write: An Unexpected Story

There are lots of reasons that I write. One of the foundational reasons is that it seems to be what allows me to share my heart with God. Often, the words flow from my heart to my hand to the heart of God. I feel a closeness to my Creator when I am expressing my thoughts and feelings through written or typed phrases and sentences. I’ve recently written an article for the L’Arche Atlanta Spring Newsletter that shows the importance of sharing our stories with others. Here’s the story I shared:

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Rimas, Jimmy, Martynas, Jed & Jenny

An Unexpected Story

We were only together for three days, but we shared many profound moments. And it is a stretch to share such deep heart connections that our family made with Rimas and Martynas during the home visit weekend prior to the L’Arche International Assembly held in Atlanta in June of 2012. But, I’ll give it a try.

Rimas is the community director for L’Arche in Vilnius, Lithuania that is called Betzatos Bendruomene which means Bethesda Community commemorating the healing that Jesus did in the pool called Bethesda in Jerusalem. Martynas was the founding core member of the community and is an accomplished artist. Rimas was a Franciscan Brother for five years before God called him into business and he is now married with three children. We made our initial introductions via Skype a few days before their arrival in Atlanta.

We had a wonderful time from the start, enjoying cooking out, sharing experiences and stories of how we became involved with L’Arche. Martynas had a short list of sites he wanted to see and things he wanted to do, so, Saturday was a long and full day. After a hearty breakfast of waffles, bacon, and fruit, we were off to explore downtown Atlanta. Martynas wanted to buy a Coca-Cola from the World of Coke and we stopped off at Centennial Olympic Park and I explained the various neighborhoods, businesses and sports venues along the way.

We swung back by our home in the Oak Grove neighborhood and ate some lunch. I had bought a loaf of black rye bread which is a Lithuanian staple and we ate it at every meal. Then, my 22-year-old son Jed, Martynas, Rimas and I were off to Stone Mtn. to go hiking. Since it wasn’t too hot, we decided to hike up the mountain. Everyone survived and enjoyed the perspective from the top of the largest granite outcropping in the world.

Back at our house, we enjoyed cooking and eating outside and talking about our day. All along the way, we talked about life in our respective countries. Rimas spoke good conversational English, and although Martynas was fairly limited, he did not hesitate to ask Rimas to translate his questions for us. Shortly after dinner, Martynas, who requires a bit more sleep than we did, was off to bed. Our son Jed retired around 10:00 PM. So, it was my wife Jenny, Rimas and I who were talking at our dining room table. Jenny was enjoying a glass of wine, Rimas was sampling some of our fine local craft beer and I was drinking Lithuania’s oldest and noblest drink – mead – that Rimas had brought as a gift for us.

I was asking Rimas about his parents and his home life growing up. I had no idea of the power of the story he was about to tell. Rimas said that when his mother was five years old she and her twin sister were shipped to Siberia. Over one million Lithuanians (one-third of it’s 1940 population) were lost during World War II during Nazi and Soviet occupations through deportations, executions, incarceration and forced emigration. Over 150,000 were taken from their homeland and forced to go to Siberia, the Arctic Circle or central Asia by the communist government of Josef Stalin. Separated from her parents, after a four-week trip in a boxcar built for animals the five-year-old girl was forced off the train in Siberia and told to fend for herself. I was shocked as my friend shared such a painful story. I tried to imagine how a five-year-old would feel. He went on to say that after five years of that Siberian exile, she was able to escape and sneak on to a passenger train and spend two-weeks traveling the 4,500 kilometers back to her country. She made contact with an uncle and eventually made it to her uncle’s home where she was raised. Her twin sister stayed for a few years more in Siberia before being able to return to Lithuania. Approximately 30,000 died in Siberia due to starvation and slave work and another 50,000 were never able to return to Lithuania.

Rimas said that his father also had a similar experience and his parents met after they had returned to Lithuania. One of the challenges in 21st Century Lithuania is teaching the next generation about the pain and suffering of the past. Because life is so good now, there is a tendency to forget the past or not be aware of the price paid by previous generations. He said that he has told these stories to his own children and that there is a movement in Lithuania to share stories from 75 years ago.

As we talked, I was reminded that there is a story in each of us. And that it is in the sharing of our stories that we are changed and made more whole. The visit of Rimas and Martynas has now become a part of my family’s story. What’s your story? Won’t you share it with us!

Afterword:

Making Our Lives Available to Others

One of the arguments we often use for not writing is this:   “I have nothing original to say.  Whatever I might say, someone else has already said it, and better than I will ever be able to.”  This, however, is not a good argument for not writing.  Each human person is unique and original, and nobody has lived what we have lived.  Furthermore, what we have lived, we have lived not just for ourselves but for others as well.  Writing can be a very creative and invigorating way to make our lives available to ourselves and to others.

We have to trust that our stories deserve to be told.  We may discover that the better we tell our stories the better we will want to live them. ~ Henri Nouwen, Bread for the Journey.