Story – Jimmy Locklear

The Moment When You Think Your Life May Be Over

I don’t know if everyone has one of these moments, but I suspect that there are many more folks than we are aware of who have a moment when seemingly everything important passes before their mental eyes and there is this fear of their life on earth being over. Well, I believe I have had at least two of these moments and perhaps three.

The most recent moment for me occurred on October 2, 2015. I was ushering at Turner Field for the St. Louis Cardinals versus Atlanta Braves major league baseball game. It was a chilly evening and I was at my assigned section Aisle 206, which is in the terrace level near home plate. It was not a huge crowd, but I’m usually pretty busy helping guests find their seats even when other parts of the stadium may have light crowds. It was the second inning and I had just been chatting with my sister who was at the game with my Mom. They preferred sitting in the outfield terrace, but my sister had come by my section to say hello.

This was my first season working for the Braves and it was just about over. Only one more home series. I’m semi-retired, I guess. I’ve received partial disability payments from my private insurance for over a year and have not been able to work fulltime since suffering a major heart attack in January of 2013. That experience became the basis of the first book I published – Sacred Heart Attack – and was life changing in many ways. I do some other project and consulting work while writing manuscripts for additional books. However, that heart attack in Montreal was not one of the times I felt like I was going to die. Even though I learned from the cardiologist that unblocked my left descending artery that I was in serious danger, I was conscious – in pain, but conscious – and thought that everything was going to be fine.

My youngest son Jed had worked for the Braves for the 2014 season and I was his primary transportation to and from the approximately 70 out of 81 games that he worked as a guest relations representative. For the 2015 season he was set to be on the promotions team and I had been thinking about being an usher and had talked to some of the ushers about their jobs. Eventually, that’s what I did. It was a challenging assignment at the beginning, both physically and mentally. Long hours of standing posed the biggest challenge. But I enjoyed baseball and had been a Braves fan and follower for many, many years; and I enjoyed relating to new people from all around the country. So, I was in the right spot. I had developed a few friends from my fellow gameday staff, too.

Just as I was finishing my conversation with my sister I started having a familiar pain combination of pressure and burning in the center of my chest. I breathed a couple of deep cleansing breaths, but nothing changed. I wondered if it was gas and excused my self to go to the Men’s Restroom. That didn’t help and the pain had risen to a 7 on that 10-point scale. I left the restroom and walked by one of my fellow ushers and told him that I was going to First Aid at aisle 211 to get my blood pressure checked. I told him I wasn’t feeling well and that he should tell our supervisor.

I walked in to the First Aid office and had about 14 eyes focused on me. I’m sure it was unusual to see a uniformed Braves employee walk into their office. I told a couple of the EMTs that I was having chest pain, that I’d had a heart attack before and that I’d like for them to take my blood pressure. They were happy to oblige and began asking me a few questions about the location and severity of my pain. My blood pressure was 170 over 105, which was extremely high for me since I took meds that generally kept my pressure down to 115 over 75. The EMT asked me to lay down on their examining table so that they could hook up the leads for an EKG. Before loading me into the ambulance, they wanted to see if the test could detect anything. They kept having trouble with one area. They couldn’t get a good signal, which can be a sign that there is a problem.

About this time, I told them that I had a small 200-doses can of Nitroglycerin Sublingual Spray that I always carried in my pocket. They said that I should go ahead and use it. I gladly complied with two short bursts in my mouth. I looked at my watch with the thought that in five minutes I would do it again if the pain continued.

This is when it happened.

There was not immediate relief, so, I started thinking this could be the end of things on earth. The EMTs began loading me on to a gurney and asked if I wanted to go to Grady’s ER or Emory Midtown Hospital. I said that Emory was my choice because that’s where my cardiologist practiced medicine and all of my records would be there. The two hospitals were equally close to Turner Field.

When I suffered 100% blockage of my LDA some 33 months ago, I didn’t really know how seriously my heart was being damaged by the cutoff of blood/oxygen flow. But now I knew the full ramifications of the pain I was experiencing. This was not heartburn, indigestion or acid reflux. And it wasn’t my gall bladder or pancreas. I no longer had a gall bladder and my pancreas pain would’ve been a little lower.

No, this was a coronary artery or two in major distress! And, suddenly, I didn’t want to die. Why was that surprising to me? You might ask, Doesn’t everyone feel that way?

Actually, no, everyone doesn’t feel opposed to dying all of the time. Over the past three years, I had grown accustomed to the idea that I might be passing on to heaven sooner rather than later. I even had a dream on February 28, 2014, while in the hospital suffering from pancreatitis, about going to heaven and what the first few hours might be like. And, of course, it was very pleasant!

As I’ve grown closer to God over the past few years, the experience of his presence was a powerful antidote to the difficulties and challenges of life. I wanted more of that experience and I think that is a good sentiment. And I realize the choice on when we pass on to glory is God’s decision and not ours. I had begun to get the idea that, for me, it might be sooner than one might expect.

My first thoughts were that I wasn’t ready. I hadn’t “put my affairs in order” as well as I would like. Jenny and Jed, Jameson and Justin would all be fine in figuring out where our will and life insurance information was and things like that. But I hadn’t prepared them for my being vacant from our family. In fact, I don’t know what all of that means. So, by writing this essay, I’m inviting that process for my family and for yours. Here’s one of my deep desires: we learn to befriend our death and celebrate the life that we have been given. Most of us would agree that life is a gift and most of you reading this essay have been given a life of privilege, wealth and all manner of life-enhancing blessings. Physical death is a result of the fallen nature of creation and all of us will experience death unless Jesus returns and completes the trifecta of his work with heaven on earth that followed his incarnation and death/resurrection/ascension.

So, let’s say that I wanted to celebrate a little more. Hang out a little more. Have “heaven on earth” fun a little more. I wasn’t ready to leave before seeing Jenny being able to rest after years of teaching and grad school and teaching. I wasn’t ready to leave before seeing Jed fully blossom into the man that God intends for him to be. I wasn’t ready to leave before seeing Justin on the biggest stage so that everyone could appreciate the wonderfulness of his presence in front of an audience or a camera. I wasn’t ready to leave before seeing Aberdeen reach her second birthday and then start working toward kindergarten. And I didn’t want to leave before seeing Bethany publish a book for the parents of medically complicated children and for Abby to be known as the General’s daughter.

Here’s the deal, though. I am ready to leave whenever God calls me to be in his physical presence. I’m ready because I haven’t let my dreams and desires die in me. I’m sharing them now and I’ll continue to celebrate life in the midst of heartache because there is a redeemer. The story we are in has an ending that is magical and wonderful and peaceful. Our world isn’t hurling through space with no destination.

The good news for me was that God showed mercy to me on October 2^nd. The nitroglycerin proved to be the proper antidote for artery distress, which was probably a coronary artery spasm. Subsequent echocardiograms and heart catheterization showed that my arteries were in good shape with nothing close to a blockage. So that spasm served me well. It opened my eyes to the continued blessing of life and re-kindled my mission to encourage you to befriend your death and celebrate your life that is in the hands of a loving and merciful Creator and a Savior who has bought you for good.

Sin’s Lingering Effect

There is an unsettledness that comes after we sin. If our hearts are most at home or we are most human when we are seeking God and responding to God’s calling, then it would follow that when we turn our back on Him we would feel uncomfortable and disjointed.

Once we have encountered and connected to God via the Gospel and the sealing by the Holy Spirit, we begin a journey of becoming whole, complete and at peace. Life begins to make sense in a way that it never had previously. So, when we wander and look for life in the created world rather than from the Source and Creator, our new roots are disturbed and we are shaken. Is my world going to crumble? We may ask ourselves why we are not feeling secure. We consider if we should return to the patterns of survival we had chosen in the past. Evil and our old patterns of survival and shame would call to us to avoid contact and conversation with Perfection – the One we had betrayed.

Yet, the Holy Spirit reminds us that chaos will ensue if we wander. Our restored home is with the Creator and Savior and we are an unmoored boat without a slip without God.

And the Spirit also calls to us saying that forgiveness is our “re-birth right” given to us through the crucifixion of Jesus. Repentance can be fast if we are willing to open our hearts to God and confess our weakness. We live in a fast-paced society and if we are un-hinged, we lose connection with our purpose and focus. The lack of focus and direction gives rise to a treacherous momentum toward confusion and hopelessness. So, restoring our relationship and re-focusing our hearts is critical to our survival.

I refer you to my post on Fast Repentance (coming soon) for help in restoring your relationship with Jesus.

Light and Dark

February 2, 2015

The past few days have been full of images: paintings, stories and conversations about light and darkness. In the final scene of the TV series True Detective that I watched on Saturday there was a lengthy discussion of light and dark that summarized themes that had been referenced throughout the 8-episode story. Also, in a Sunday morning class discussion on the idea of painful self-probing and the attributes of God, there was a vivid contrast. Then, during the sermon teaching on grace there was a reference to the Vacquez painting of the crucifixion of Jesus, which was the dark day in human history.

In our visual culture where most of us are learning through pictures and images, the contrast of dark and light always gives us an undeniable truth concerning the world in which we live.

Rust Kohle, one of the two central characters in True Detective, said that he had been thinking about what this investigation had been about. That it had been part of a bigger story. What he called, “The oldest story.” When asked what that was, he replied, “The story of light versus darkness.”

In the final scene of season one of the HBO series True Detective, there is a lengthy conversation [NSFW-language] in the parking lot of a hospital in Louisiana between detectives Rust Kohle and Marty Hart. Kohle in a wheelchair has been convalescing after surviving a horrific stabbing by the serial killer they had spent 15 years trying to find. As they gaze up at a cloudless night sky, Rust says that while healing in bed he had been musing as to what their investigation was really about. He said that the investigation had drawn them into a bigger story – a story about light versus dark.

In the simplest of terms, this is the story of all of our lives. Are we moving toward the light? Or, are we moving toward darkness? There is a trajectory to our lives, perhaps like the stars in the dark Louisiana sky. The darkness seems massive and the stars are tiny in comparison. Are we letting the light creep in or are we being overcome by the darkness?

In the painting by the Spanish artist Diego Velazquez depicting the crucifixion of Jesus, there is darkness all around, too. The light in the painting is reserved for and focused in Jesus who is overcoming the darkness with the light of a ransom-paying sacrifice. He is rescuing all of humanity from the darkness.

The Crucifixion of Christ by Diego Velazquez

In the same way the final words of True Detective reveal a truth, Rust said, “If you ask me, the light’s winning.”

We make choices from time to time that move us closer to the light or deeper into the darkness. Clarity and purity are experienced as we move into the light and confusion and contamination as we shift toward the darkness.

So, in humility and ascent, we surrender our hearts to the Light of creation. For we hope that as we move toward the light we will experience transformation. We become new creations shedding the layers of darkness and becoming, as it were, our greatest selves: all that for which we were created and the journey for which we were equipped through the magic of substitutionary grace given to us by the death (dark) and resurrection (light) of Jesus.

A Personal and Heart Update: The interplay of physical and spiritual

{One of the tools I’ve learned from my experience with the Wellspring Group is a “State of Your Heart” update. This is sort of a personal inventory of how you’re living life in terms of your own heart and God’s Larger Story. It is a way to provide a status report for those in your small group, work team or family/community. This was my update from last week.}

I’m still trying to figure out what just happened. For some three months, I’ve been feeling depressed with low energy. I had come to think that this was the new normal. And bouts with skin cancer and pseudo gout after pancreatitis and heart failure had me wondering if my body was just falling apart. I had lost interest in my writing, which was probably the most disappointing. At first, I had thought that I had just lost momentum from my illness in March, but as time went on that, too, seemed like just another body blow in a continuing string. My family and friends were aware that I didn’t seem to be myself in stressful situations or have the energy I once did. Some of you had probably noticed it, too.

I had a check up with my cardiologist on Thursday, September 25th. He did an EKG, checked my numbers from recent blood work, and other tests and all looked good. I had told him about the low energy and then he asked the magic question, “How is your depression?” I said that it comes and goes and I wasn’t really sure why. He said that I was less upbeat now than right after my heart attack when he first met me in January of 2013. I almost started to cry as I talked about my frustration. He said that depression is pretty common with heart attack survivors and that he looked for it. Since my internist had retired in August and I’m between personal physicians, he offered to write me a prescription for an anti-depressant medication. He also suggested that I reduce one of my heart medications by 1/4. I filled the prescription, but was hesitant to take it. I did, however, begin the reduced heart medication regime on Saturday the 27th. In a word, the change in my energy and attitude was like re-birth. Instead of dragging myself out of the house to go for a walk, I was running again. And I’ve run every other day since in increasing distance and reduced times. I’m writing again and have energy to do more of everything. Primarily, I feel better and am more hopeful.

Thinking: Did reducing that little bit of chemical compound make that much difference in my attitude and energy? Are my feelings of depression gone? Should I still consider taking the anti-depressant meds? Where is God in the midst of this?

Feeling: Freed from the fog of uncertainty. I’m patient to sit before God and listen for his direction. On Monday the 29th, as I read the Word and prayed, the Holy Spirit said, “Good to have you back.” Feeling loved, accepted, grateful.

Desiring: To do all that the Father tells me to do.

Commitment: To re-vision my personal future. To get back on track with the calling the Lord has given me to write and to help others write their stories.

Going to the temple at the hour of prayer: Who does that?

It seems crazy, but I’ve recently been thinking about the concept of having a regular hour to pray. When it comes to exercise, reflection, quiet time or personal study time, most of us establish a pattern. Many of us like routines, habits and schedules. And those of us who don’t like schedules realize that with our busy or over crowded lives we have to schedule some things in order to meet the expectations of others.

I’ve come to see prayer as a conversation with the triune God: Father, Son or Jesus and the Holy Spirit or the Spirit of God who lives in our hearts. Unfortunately, I have too often felt or believed that there is a fixed distance between God and me, so I’ve often felt that I was speaking to someone “up there.” You know, “the Man upstairs” or the “King who sits on a throne high and lifted up.” It makes it hard to feel any intimacy with God with those images. But I’ve more recently come to see God as a real father and Jesus as the one that so many people – especially the weak – approached when he walked the streets of Israel’s cities and villages and the Spirit as actually, truly residing in my heart. I’ve come to take the teachings about God in the Bible as actionable. Our re-born bodies are even described as the “temple of the Holy Spirit.”

Needless to say, that has improved my relationship with God in some amazing ways. With the Spirit living with me, I can have an ongoing dialogue instead of always talking to myself like I used to do. I’ve turned the monologue into a dialogue. With the closeness of God being a reality, I now realize that I don’t have to talk ABOUT God when I could be talking to him. I don’t have to try to impress others with my theological depth or saying things in a certain sequence (Jesus called that “piling up empty phrases” in Matthew 6:7), but I can be real and speak directly to God. It’s amazing, but it’s been God’s approach from the very beginning. Like when he used to walk through the garden in the cool of the evening to check in with Adam and Eve. Our relationship was broken, but then Jesus paid the price for our restoration.

Certainly there are enough illustrations in the Bible that would lead us to accept that we can pray most any time and most all the time. Is there also a place for a scheduled time to pray? Do we want to make sure that we not only pray in the quietness of our own souls, but also in community or family?

Although I don’t know how the tradition came about, in first century religious practice there was a “Jewish” or faith community habit of a daily hour of prayer. We first see this in Acts 3 when Peter and John went to the Temple at the hour of prayer, the ninth hour or 3:00 PM. This seems like the perfect time to pray, especially as a community. It is usually a time when we are looking for a second wind for the day. This is a coffee break time for many. It is the break from an after lunch siesta or a short nap in some cultures.

If you try to work at your vocation until 5:00, 5:30 or 6:00 and you are a knowledge worker or even a physical worker, this is a critical time to decide if you’re going to accomplish anything else during today’s work segment. If you are a fulltime parent or caregiver, you may have a different routine. But it is pivotal. It can be a time of temptation or it can be a time of miraculous healing. For Peter and John it was a common activity based upon a desire to connect with each other and with God. But for those who were crippled, it was a time of deep longing for wholeness, for help.

Here’s the story,

Acts 3 Now Peter and John were going up to the temple at the hour of prayer, the ninth hour. And a man lame from birth was being carried, whom they laid daily at the gate of the temple that is called the Beautiful Gate to ask alms of those entering the temple. Seeing Peter and John about to go into the temple, he asked to receive alms. And Peter directed his gaze at him, as did John, and said, “Look at us.” And he fixed his attention on them, expecting to receive something from them. But Peter said, “I have no silver and gold, but what I do have I give to you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk!” ⁷And he took him by the right hand and raised him up, and immediately his feet and ankles were made strong. ⁸And leaping up he stood and began to walk, and entered the temple with them, walking and leaping and praising God. ⁹And all the people saw him walking and praising God, ¹⁰and recognized him as the one who sat at the Beautiful Gate of the temple, asking for alms. And they were filled with wonder and amazement at what had happened to him. (ESV)

But for those who were crippled, it was a time of deep longing for wholeness, for help. In some way that applies to all of us. This man was not even expecting healing – perhaps he had given up – but God heard his deepest longing.

Have you given up on the healing of your deepest brokenness? Have you given up on praying at all, but you can still muster a cry for help to people who will listen and help? Even if you can’t bring yourself to pray, ask somebody to pray for you. And if you pray, think about setting a time each day to go with others to the temple.

Putting a bow on my 2014 General Assembly experience – Part Deux

Upon returning to the ballroom where the assembly was meeting, I looked for a seat closer to the front so that I might be able to occasionally look at the real 3-D person than the video facsimile on one of the two large screens on either side of the stage. If I have one regret from the week, it is that I didn’t take more pictures. I haven’t gotten immersed in the “selfie” world yet, but I hope to get better at it as time goes on. A few minutes after sitting down, I turned to find myself sitting next to Justin Clement, RUF minister at the University of Georgia. I had just seen Justin for the first time at the wedding of Nathan Terrell and Joy Glaze Terrell last Saturday. I introduced myself and told him he had done a great job in officiating the wedding. He asked about how things were at Intown (BTW, that was a common question, not surprisingly). We had a good chat and talked from time to time about the various overtures as they were introduced over the next couple of hours.

In every GA, there is an overture or two that requires extended discussion and debate. This year it was Overture 43. The Overtures Committee had voted to answer in the “negative” which is not to affirm the overture by a tally of 45-28. That was by far the closest vote of any of the overtures. So, the 28 committee members put forth a substitute motion on the assembly floor. Here’s a link to the original overture: http://www.pcaac.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Overture-43-Sav-R-Sanctity-of-Life-Marriage.pdf It was the opinion of the majority of the committee that the overture was not needed because “there is no lack of clarity regarding the PCA’s stand for the sanctity of marriage or the sanctity of life, biblically or constitutionally (WCF 24.1). Furthermore, we do not need an overture such as this to pray for, or encourage, those who suffer unjustly.” The committee gave three additional reasons, but this was the primary reason. After approximately an hour of debate (an agreed upon timeframe) on the assembly floor, there was a vote to make the substitute motion the main motion for Overture 43. It passed by an approximately 60%-40% vote. I didn’t write down the numbers, but it was a clear majority. The so-called minority report reads as follows:

Be it resolved that the Presbyterian Church in America expresses its gratitude to the Lord for sustaining by His grace ministers of the gospel, chaplains, and Christians serving in the public sphere who are experiencing ostracism, penalties, and persecution for taking a Biblically faithful stand for the sanctity of human life and declining to participate in the cultural redefinition of marriage; and

Be it further resolved that the General Assembly pause and offer prayer to the Lord on behalf of such ministers of the gospel, chaplains, and Christians.

And after the vote, my friend Jim Wert gave a passionate and heartfelt prayer as implementation of this resolution.

It was Overture 6 that received, both over the past year and this week, the grandest support. It was concerning Child Protection in the PCA and there was prayer for all of our children and children worldwide pleading for their protection and thanking God for His special care and love for them. You can read Overture 6 here: http://www.pcaac.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/Overture-6-GA-Foothills-Child-Protection-in-the-PCA.pdf

That pretty much ended the business for the assembly. There was a thank you letter or resolution that was read. Then the moderator said that we were going to take a one-hour recess and move the evening’s worship service up to 4:30 PM instead of 7:30 PM. Since the musicians, worship leaders and preacher were all present we proceeded with that plan. Someone must’ve given some heads-up earlier in the day for all of those folks to be on deck.

I took another foray into the exhibitors’ hall. Many of you with connections to Intown know Laura Rodriguez. I talked to Laura when I saw her in a book publisher’s booth. Turns out her father owns a publishing company and publishes an eclectic line of previously out-of-print theology and political books, along with the works of authors in the PCA and his own books. Laura was sent out from Intown with the Mosaic Fellowship and is now seeking wisdom on what to do next since Mosaic is no longer a church plant.

I next visited with Rev. Matt Cadora again and he said what I was beginning to hear from others that this was the best GA he had ever attended. I said that Ray Cortese’s sermon on Tuesday had been one of the best I’d ever heard and he interrupted me before I could finish and said that it was THE best he had ever heard. [I do have a CD of Rev. Cortese’s sermon and will be happy to loan it to you after I’ve listened to it or put it on my iTunes.]

Again, the worship service was a mix of ancient and future that the Tuesday service had been. Eventually, I figured out that the influence of Indelible Grace had come through the RUF community at Belmont University in Nashville. No surprise there. Rev. Bill Sim preached the sermon. He is organizing and senior pastor of New Church of Atlanta, a Korean church started in 1997. He is the stated clerk of the Korean Southeastern Presbytery. A presbytery, by the way, that meets twice a year for about 3-4 days. He invited other presbyteries to consider doing that whenever they can. He said that they work together, play together, pray together, weep together and confess their sins together. He said that there are over 500 Korean teaching elders in the PCA. Again, I would recommend you listen to this sermon online or to download it at some point. You can download here. There are two stories that he told – one from his own life about coming to America 35 years ago and the other about missionaries to Korea who were martyred for their work about 90 years ago – that are priceless. He preached from Acts 20:17-38 and I’m sure had three points. I believe the points were about commitments and convictions, but his stories were the most powerful. And these were his exhortations:

We should cry more in the pulpit.

May the Lord soften our hearts.

May our commitment to orthodoxy lead us to love sinners.

May we let our commitment to the need for confession begin in the house of the Lord.

Our grace-filled convictions will bring us together.

It was an amazing sermon.

The PCA constitution states that we conclude our general assemblies by singing Psalm 103. So, we did.

It was a very satisfying and vision-enhancing gathering. Grateful to have participated.

Putting a bow on my 2014 General Assembly experience – Part 1

Juneteenth proved to be one of the more productive days for a PCA gathering as the annual assembly came to an end approximately a half-day early. I started the day with a quick shower and shave. I brush on the shaving soap and am now using my grandfather’s double-edged razor. That’s a #tbt for you. Then I was off to Starbucks for a latte, morning bun and banana. Next, I walked the mile to the Hilton where the GA was held for a half-hour meeting with Larry Bolden to discuss my writing workshops and how Wellspring Group might be able to use some of the concepts, and then we discussed the State of Your Heart book idea I’ve been thinking about for a couple of weeks. Larry loved the book idea, likes organizing the manuscript around themes and subjects. I explained that it had struck me recently that the SOYH updates that we do so often are effective teaching tools for those who read them and perhaps we should share those more widely. Larry suggested considering a 365-days format and that we could add some essays on how to write your own SOYH and some of my thoughts on journaling and examining our lives.

I then went upstairs to the Assembly business meeting to hear reports and vote on recommendations and nominations for committee members. In the Mission to North America report, the church planting report from Hutch Garmany who is planting a church in rural Trenton, GA, and Alejandro Villasana planting Christos Community Church a bilingual church in Norcross, GA, particularly inspired me. The plant in Trenton was launched by Rock Creek Fellowship on Lookout Mtn. and the one in Norcross is from Perimeter. I was impressed by their desire for heart level change and deep connections to Jesus not numbers and facilities. Many of the reports being given were from the committees that met on Monday and Tuesday.

Before lunch, we got started with the report of the Overtures Committee that is chaired by our good friend and fellow Intown elder Jim Wert. In truly an amazing move, Jim recommended that the committee’s report and recommendations be passed in omnibus and it did! Except for a handful of exceptions. He was doubtful, but the GA Moderator Bryan Chapell gave it a go and worked through a much simpler process to pass on the less controversial overtures. We, then, with Jim’s leadership, acted on a couple of the overtures that were pulled out of the omnibus action. We then recessed for lunch until 1:30.

During the break, I read a bit in Matthew 26 about Jesus’ suffering in Gethsemane. This is a very familiar passage to us, but I was particularly impressed with how Jesus ask his Father three times to take a way this cup of suffering and death. Might we be too timid in our request to the Lord to change our situations? Even Jesus asked three times, so we might feel free to ask the Father more than once, certainly. I also ate an apple, a peanut butter balance bar and a glass of water (inquiring minds…).

After lunch, I ran into Nathan Parker, an extended family (Phelans) friend who was recently called to Pinelands Presbyterian Church in the Cutler Bay suburb of Miami. He’s the senior pastor there since February. He said that it has been quite a cultural adjustment after spending the past three years in the UK earning his doctorate. Earlier in his vocational journey he was a youth minister (and probably other things) at ChristChurch in Atlanta. He sends his best to the Phelans, Intown and Atlanta.

Also, I had my all caps ENCOUNTER of the day when I talked with Dr. Marvin “Cub” Culbertson a ruling elder from Dallas. Cub has been in medicine (ENT doctor) for 68 years! There’s a major wing in a hospital in Dallas named after him. I talked about him in a previous blog. Yesterday, he was on the escalator behind me and asked, “How are we doing?”

I turned to discover a straw-hatted gentleman with a big smile and I said, “Great! How are you?”

And he replied, “As always, I’m better than I deserve.”

I then saw his nametag and said, “Dr. Culbertson! It’s great to see you!” I proceeded to introduce myself and reminded him that he had given me some advice back in 2008 at the GA in Dallas when I had a stomach virus. We had talked on the phone a couple of times and subsequently emailed each other.

He said, “Well, did my suggestions work?”

I said, “Yes. You suggested I go across the street to Denny’s and get some grits and some hot tea. And I felt much better after eating the grits and drinking the tea.”

He said, “Good. That’s why I’m here.”

Cub then took my hand and prayed for me and for himself. In his prayer, he looked forward to being with Jesus in heaven for both of us, but “sooner” for him he hoped. I asked him if I could give him a copy of my book “Sacred Heart Attack.”

“Of course! Can I share it with others?” he asked.

“Sure. Let me sign it for you.” I said.

He had already taken it and was asking me questions as he flipped through it. “Here, I like this page for you to sign, “ he said. It was the page with this quote on it from Henri Nouwen: The word lifts us up and makes us see that our daily, ordinary lives are, in fact, sacred lives that play a necessary role in the fulfillment of God’s promises.

How appropriate is that? Again, I felt God’s presence bringing a sacred moment in the midst of a busy day. That’s why He’s here.

To be continued…

Wednesday at PCA GA was a potpourri of activity

A couple of things have been consistent about my experience so far at this 42^nd PCA General Assembly, I’ve had breakfast every morning at a Starbucks inside and upscale office building lobby near my hotel. I carry my personal cup with a custom sleeve that specifies my drink of choice: tall vanilla latte.

Photo on 6-18-14 at 11.27 PM Secondly, I’ve been able to carve out a few minutes of solitude with God and his Word to keep my heart in balance in the midst of very hectic days. Third, I’ve done plenty of walking!

Outgoing Moderator Bruce Terrell presented on behalf of the Cooperative Ministries Committee, which is a committee made up of the assembly’s last five moderators. This seems to be a forward-looking group to identify what challenges are facing the denomination. According to their report, the Top 5 issues facing the PCA are the role of women in the PCA, homosexuality and related issues, the rising generation of leaders (how to make room for developing leaders with all of us older guys around!), making the General Assembly more attractive to younger pastors and all ruling elders, and practicing diversity in all areas of church life. The CMC has appointed subcommittee for each of these areas that will report back to them.So, what was Wednesday like? I can’t exactly put a theme on it, but it was probably a day of looking back. The morning session of the assembly was on the PCA Past, Present, and Future. This was a panel conversation by Stated Clerk Paul Taylor, newly elected Moderator Bryan Chapell and Birmingham, AL, church planter Murray Lee. They talked about effectiveness, faithfulness to Scripture and relevance in a trendy world. It reminded me of a comment by the late Rev. John Stott of the Church of England who talked about relevance to contemporary man without being relativistic.

Our Stated Clerk also released stats for last year and rather than list them here I’m going to refer you to ByFaith magazines website for those numbers: http://byfaithonline.com/stated-clerk-releases-2013-stats-on-the-pca/

We also heard from a variety of reformed denominations that share our theology and values. This was under the umbrella of the Committee of Commissioners on Interchurch Relations and Fraternal Greetings and was chaired by Atlanta Westside Presbyterian Church pastor Walter Henegar. The greetings came from Mexico, Canada and across the US. These greetings include reports on progress within those denominations and an occasional inside theological jokes and barbs. Not sure why these are necessary.

During the lunch recess, I enjoyed a great meal sponsored by Wellspring Group to introduce commissioners to the process of heart-deep living and discipleship that Wellspring trains church leaders to engage in. There are lots of sponsored luncheons during the GA. Along with hearing from WG Executive Director Larry Bolden, we hear testimonials from Oak Mtn. PCA, Birmingham, founding pastor Bob Flayhart, church planter out of Rock Creek Church on Lookout Mtn. Hutch Garmany and adult ministries pastor from Oak Mtn. Greg Poole. As someone who has benefited from the Wellspring Group process, I was reminded again of the depth and breadth of God’s love and how he longs for us to be live from whole hearts of freedom and hope.

From there I went to what was for me the most dreaded and sad experiences of my participation in this year’s GA. This was the report of a study committee that came about in 2011 on the topic of so-called Insider Movements. Since the 39^th General Assembly, this committee has reported on their analysis and critique of many Christians who have no affiliation with the PCA. Much of the analysis has been around Bible translation work for Muslim cultures and whether Muslims who become followers of Jesus can remain in their Muslim world. Hundreds and hundreds of pages have been written by this committee and ultimately for the past two years they have produced both a committee (sic; majority) report and a minority report with a critique of the minority report. And after much parliamentarian wrangling, an overwhelming majority voted in favor of the committee’s report that essentially condemns insider movements and some particular areas of Bible translation. I’ll refer you to the GA’s website for looking into this report if you’d like. Here’s the link: http://www.pcaac.org/general-assembly/commissioners/insider-movements/ This page says that this report hasn’t been acted upon, but the page hasn’t been updated. It was acted upon today.

Many of my personal views on this topic have to do with my personal experience with insiders in Muslim Bangladesh who have been baptized as followers of Jesus the Messiah and the challenge of producing an authentic translation of scripture that is based in Muslim culture rather than Hindu culture. One of the scriptures I look to for guidance is Mark 9: ³⁸“Teacher,” said John, “we saw someone driving out demons in your name and we told him to stop, because he was not one of us.” ³⁹“Do not stop him,” Jesus said. “For no one who does a miracle in my name can in the next moment say anything bad about me, ⁴⁰for whoever is not against us is for us.

The rest of the session this afternoon was reports from different committees and agencies of the denomination. Tomorrow we’ll get into the Overtures Committee report led by my friend and fellow Intown elder Jim Wert.

I had a memorable dinner with some of the Wellspring Group team who are enjoying a great increase in traffic at their booth and lots of personal meetings for Executive Director Larry Bolden. How did I experience the dinner? Relaxing, celebratory and vision expanding.

Fun conversations of the day with: Troy Duble, VP of Advancement at Covenant College, Bruce Terrell, Matt Cadora and Peter Wang of Grace Redeemer of Teaneck, NJ with John Purcell. This morning I said farewell to my son Justin who returned to Dallas today. It was great to spend a couple of days with him in between all of this. He’s an exceptional young man.

I told you it was a hodge-podge day.

“Floored by Jesus” and other quotes from Tuesday at PCA GA

Since the commissioner committee on which I was serving met on Monday, I had a light schedule in the morning and got to spend some time with my middle son Justin Locklear who lives in Dallas. He drove down to Houston to catch up a bit and just “take a break” from his harried life as an actor, designer, playwright, barista, singer-songwriter and boyfriend. Included in our time was a visit to one of his college roommates who is now a barista at what is arguably Houston’s best coffee shop Catalina Coffee. OK, back to the General Assembly….

I had targeted a couple of seminars to attend on Tuesday afternoon, but one was cancelled due to illness of David Powlinson, Exec. Director of CCEF. He was scheduled to lead a session on “Being Heard: What are People Thinking When You Talk to Them?” So, I spent some time talking to John Purcell who has been a consultant to Intown over the past few years and a friend for more than 20 years. That led to my attending the seminar that he and Gordon Moore, Director of Operations and Support Ministries at Perimeter Church, were doing on “When Your Pastor Moves On – Best Practices in Pastoral Succession.”

In the seminar, Gordon shared what he had learned during a “pastor succession” tour he had done a couple of years ago when he visited 20 churches of various denominations that were at some point in a senior pastor transition. He said that he was given access to some of their board/session meetings, staff meetings and pastor search committee meetings along with interviewing key leaders to discover what had worked and what had not worked in the process. You can email John and Gordon at john@transform-coach.com and gordonm@perimeter.org for a copy of their PowerPoint, but Gordon’s first, and most important, takeaway was: The current Senior Pastor is the most important person in the process and is more important than the timing or strategy. The topic that received the most questions during the Q&A time was the need to have an Emergency Transition Plan should the senior pastor become suddenly ill or incapacitated. The plan should include operational assignments and a preaching plan.

John Purcell talked about what the leadership board or elder session needs to be doing during any transition. He stressed that a congregation needs to do intensive work on defining the church’s mission, vision, values and priorities. John said that after that work is done the church could develop a profile of the pastor they need to lead them in implementing their strategic plan. All of this requires lots of work, but is worth the effort. This is exactly what my home church Intown Community has been doing the past year and we believe we are much better prepared in our current search efforts. Of course, John said that there needs to be some room for tweaking the plan based upon who actually accepts the call from the church, but for the most part the congregation needs to be true to it’s real and aspirational identity.

After dinner, our friend and fellow ruling elder Bruce Terrell called the 42^nd General Assembly to order. Bruce has been the Moderator for the past year and most of his work was done as of last night. Of course, those of us at Intown are exceptionally proud of his leadership and service. Bruce is a Ruling Elder at Redeemer Presbyterian Church in New York City where he also serves at the church’s executive director.

The first order of business was a time of worship. The liturgy was fairly traditional and the music included a balance of traditional, including the African-American Spiritual “Jesus Walked This Lonesome Valley,” and two contemporary tunes: “Redeemed, Restored, Forgiven” featuring new music by Matthew Smith and Jeff Pardo to lyrics written in 1876 by Henry Baker; and “His Love Can Never Fail” music by Christopher Miner of Indelible Grace in 2004 and lyrics by E.S. Hall in 1897. I guess we like our lyrics from the 19^th century and our music from the 21^st.

All of this was a prelude to what was the highlight of the evening and possibly the week, the sermon by Ray Cortese, pastor of Seven Rivers Presbyterian Church in Leconta, FL.

The title for his sermon was “A Beautiful Orthodoxy” and it included stories from the life of incarnate Jesus and illustrations of when orthodoxy looks beautiful. In many ways this was homage to grace personified. He told stories of how people who had been hopeless were “floored by Jesus” that they saw in churches, individuals and families. It will be difficult for me to capture the sense of his teaching in a report. I’ll try to hit a few points of his outline, but I strongly encourage you to listen to the sermon online. I’ll get the link and post on my twitter and Facebook pages.

The scripture passage that Ray spoke from was Matthew 12:1-14 and after reading it, he said that the Pharisees were so orthodox that they missed Jesus because he wasn’t as orthodox as them. He then went into illustrating from Jesus and from those who follow Jesus the “Marks of Beautiful Orthodoxy.”

He had three marks that he highlighted: Humility, Mercy and Rest. He spent the most time on humility and at one point recited the song “It’s me, it’s me, it’s me, O Lord, standing in the need of prayer.” He said that too often we cover ourselves by comparing ourselves with others. He also shared the story of Rosario Butterfield, the former Syracuse University professor who was converted through a series of dinners with the family of a pastor who regularly confessed his sin at the evening prayer before dinner. Concerning mercy, Ray referred to Jesus words describing a sheep falling into a pit that we should pick it up. Regardless of the day or time, mercy is always acceptable. Especially with people.

In a lighter note, Rev. Cortese quoted from C.S. Lewis and Frances Schaeffer during his sermon and said that if he also quoted from “Keller” that he would have the sermon “hat trick!” The final mark of beauty that Ray drew out of the Scripture was “Rest.” He reminded us of all those days in Egypt when God’s people were forbidden from resting. And how Jesus was the one who had made the Sabbath and how unique this concept was across our nation and world. And he gently challenged us to make rest a part of our relationship with God and our weekly lives. And not to get caught up in the “ceaseless work of our self validation. Pastoring is hard,” he said. And reminded us of his own story of grace from Romans 1. “There is a righteousness that comes from God,” and that makes all the difference. He concluded this mark with this reminder, “the Savior calls us to rest.”

Again, I’ll post the link of this passionate and clearly articulated sermon. Subsequently, we celebrate the Lord’s Supper and concluded the service. Then, Moderator Terrell oversaw the election of his replacement – Dr. Bryan Chappell (more on Dr. Chappell tomorrow) and then received a special recognition from the Assembly. It was reported that we had 1,050 registered commissioners and over 800 of them are teaching elders.

Another personal note, I greeted former RUF minister at Emory and Intown Jeremy Jones who is a pastor in Memphis and his oldest son who is now 17 and, who I interviewed for confirmation, is now taller that Jeremy. Like many, Jeremy and his family cherish the relationships they had at Intown Community Church and School.

Reflections on friendship from my pre-GA activity

Friendship and camaraderie in the battle

This 42^nd General Assembly of the Presbyterian Church in America officially comes into session this evening. During the day, six additional committees hold meetings as most of the six from yesterday completed their work. Of course the Overtures Committee will continue meeting today and the next couple of days most likely.

Yesterday, during an early morning briefing, I had one of those “is this seat taken” moments when the person asking turns out to be an old friend of mine.

Matt Cadora, now pastor of Faith Presbyterian Church in Cincinnati, OH, used to live in Atlanta and was eventually an assistant pastor at my Intown Community Church home. We talked a little before the meeting got rolling and then a bit more afterwards. Like many, Matt sees the GA as a family reunion and a time to get refreshed. We spoke at a heart level very quickly.

Later in the day I had lunch with Greg Poole who is pastor of discipleship and adult ministries at Oak Mountain Church in Birmingham, AL. We’ve become friends through our participation in the Wellspring Group retreats and being fellow runners. We talked about our children, churches and an idea for a book project that we might collaborate on in the future. We were surprised that an unassuming looking restaurant called The Grove that was near the convention center hotel was actually an upscale watering hole for the business elite and wannabe’s. We went

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on in wearing our running shoes and casual attire. And enjoyed some good salads and good service.

The bonds of friendship, when built on experiences of work, struggle and honesty, are easily picked up at a moments notice. These two men reminded me that we are wealthy, indeed, if we have friends with whom we can be ourselves. And with a good foundation, we can re-connect and find rest for our souls.

I’ll post some more reflections later this evening.